God heals the broken hearted

My wife was sleeping in her hospital bed when I heard her phone go off a few times. Thinking it was just a concerned friend, I decided to check it out. I tried to unlock her screen, but the code was not working. So, I tried it again, and it still would not unlock. Later Lizzy woke up, and I mentioned she received a few texts while she was asleep. Curious, I asked who they were from. Someone should have warned me about what she was about to say. They were from a man she was seeing. She promised me nothing was going on, but I could not help but feel betrayed. Here I was by her side caring for her and her attention was on someone else. For the next few days, I was in a fog. Where do we go from here? This news had rocked my world and I felt like I had no one to run to.

A few days later, Lizzy was released from the hospital. We knew we needed to talk through this and discuss where we planned to go from there. Lizzy and I both agreed we did not want to throw18 years of marriage away. So, to help win back my trust she promised to block his number. She said whenever I needed, I could check her phone. We are still working on our marriage but in time the wounds will heal.

This is not a true story, but I wanted a story that people could relate to. People hurt people! And the closest ones to us can hurt us the worst. So where do we go from there? How can we get past the hurt? Will I be able to trust them again? These questions only you can answer. If you choose to work it out here are some ways to help you through this.

Let’s go to God’s word

Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30

God does not want us to be bogged down with our burdens. Instead, He encourages us to come to Him. Only He can take away the hurt and give us rest. When we try to solve our problems on our own, we do it with malice. But when we give it to God, He does it with purpose and allows healing to happen. If you allow God to guide you, He will provide the answers. Give your burdens to Him and rest in His assuring love that He will fix them for your good.

How to cope with the pain

• Pray- God will be your biggest supporter and friend through this. Seek Him for guidance. Allow Him to show you where you should go; either continue the friendship or close the door. Marriage is more complex so continue to pray for your spouse, the marriage, and where God is taking you both.

• Know your emotions are valid- how you overcome your feelings will determine where you're going.

• Do not be afraid to tell them how you felt when they hurt you. - Two things will come from this 1) making them aware of the hurt you’re feeling 2) allowing you to let it out and not bottle it up. They need to know how this affected you.

• Evaluate the next step- How do you want to handle this? Do you need to set boundaries with them? Do you need them to do something to regain your trust?

• Have you forgiven them? - This one is hard but necessary. You need to release this pain so you can move on even if they do not apologize. To forgive does not mean you forget. This might take time. You will need to rebuild the relationship.

• Mend The relationship - time heals all wounds. I encourage you to talk to the person if you are struggling. You need to be transparent so the relationship can grow stronger.

• Take care of yourself - you can not fix the person you can only fix yourself. Look for ways to make the relationship better. Always show love to them and yourself and let God work out the rest.

Trust in God.

He will heal your broken heart.